Spacing can be a healthy mechanism that allows for growth. Many aspects of our everyday lives require it. Sometimes, it can be difficult to decide when it’s appropriate or if it’s appropriate, rather, to refrain in certain situations.

Space can be difficult to give and/or accept, but in the end, it really benefits everyone!

Space in relationships

Many of us have been in some kind of relationship. It takes a lot of time, work, effort, blood, sweat, and tears. This can, at times, be frustrating.

Some fail to realize that even in relationships it’s important to give your person space! Now, I’m not saying it’s okay to go complete ‘ghost’ on your partner. Just make sure you communicate with them about time spent together and individually. The two of you aren’t always going to be together (physically). So, it’s healthy to make sure that you aren’t too attached to the point where you feel like your life is crumbling the moment you and your boo aren’t interacting.

“Oh, I’m so for that [giving space to your partner],” Skylar Johnson (25’) said. “Especially when people have operated on their own for so long and then get into a relationship. Sometimes they don’t want to communicate with their partner 24/7, but that’s something that should be communicated.”

Don’t forget, it’s okay to be alone! You shouldn’t rely on a significant other to fuel your happiness or fill an empty void. Find that happiness and substance to fill that void within yourself!

Similar to Johnson, Alina Hassan (24’) said, “No matter how much you like/love someone, you can get upset with them after spending too much time together. You should give that space so when you guys do start interacting again, you’ll rekindle that excitement you experienced the very first time Y’all spoke.

Space in friendships

Friendships call for lots of laughter, drama, good times, and some annoyance.

Even with the great memories and exciting moments you and your friends create and experience, there can also be a lot of toxicity involved that may fly under the radar at times. If you notice hurtful and damaging behaviors in these bonds, space might be necessary.

“Friendships like this only take away from you and never serve you anything positively,” Markus Albright (24’) said. “People come into your life for a reason, a season, and a lifetime.”

You shouldn’t feel bad about removing yourself from toxic groups and/or behaviors, sometimes isolating yourself is needed.

Albright agreed, “I do think it’s important to leave a friend group when toxic energy is felt because any energy that’s negative can have a negative impact on someone mentally, and sometimes physically. Removing yourself from situations that’re toxic will serve you well.

Space=Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is very important. Putting others first is a great thing to do but it’s okay to put yourself first at times as well. If putting yourself first for you means isolating, then do so. Sometimes, being by yourself is needed to protect your peace and better your mental health!

“Your mental health automatically gets better, you have so much less to worry about, and you’re no longer getting drained,” said Hassan

Isolating yourself helps you regenerate and refocus on the important things in life. You may discover new things about yourself and become more aligned with who you are as an individual. There’s a sense of peace once you get more comfortable with taking out time to be alone with yourself for a while.

Hassan agreed, “You can journal and learn more about yourself. You can better yourself, and your mental health. You can use the space you’ve given yourself to heal relationships and even learn new things. Space allows you to see life in a different way.”

Personal nugget

As an extrovert who tends to be pretty clingy, the task of withdrawing when necessary is tough. It can be difficult when you feel like there’s something at stake. Whether that be a friendship, a relationship, or your peace of mind, it’s like there’s going to be a cost to whatever decision you make. But when you stop overanalyzing and choose to give yourself some space, it’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. One less worry to cross your mind. Distancing might be challenging but it’s all in how you accept that challenge.

Space is healthy and necessary. It’s okay to allow space for others, as for yourself. When space takes place, it’s more likely for one to become a better individual than before.